28
Sep
10

journeying through

I am philosophical tonight. I didn’t have a mid-life crisis at 40 or 50 or even 60. I think I am having it now—a late-bloomer’s mid-life / late-life crisis. I thought I knew a lot of things about a lot of things. Turns out I know very little about a lot of things. And there is a symmetry in that…a sense of freedom.

I am standing at a breezy corner in downtown Anywhere—a place I’ve never been before—watching and waiting for the light to turn from yellow to green. I am free-falling through time and space. Maybe I am standing still and the world is speeding past? Perhaps I am looking out through a fog of white snow…breathing in…breathing out..waiting for the next chapter or two of my book of life to write itself.

The hairs of my head are counted, the Gospels tell me; Isaiah, that shaggy old sage of a prophet, says I am called by name and need not fear. I know this is true, but I have many names. Which one will my Creator use this time around…and will I recognize it when it is spoken? Watching and waiting is not my accustomed stance, so I step outside myself to do it. And standing here, I see many selves, all eager to tell me their stories. I try to listen: many stories, some fine, some not so fine, some joyful, some sorrowful to painful…some barely remembered. I have had many lives. I am ready for September into October, the late Autumn edition. Not yet the Winter.

Tomorrow I will journey once again to my quarterly oncology appointment. It’s a throw-back to personal histories I’d rather not have to revisit. I don’t expect anything but good news, but as all cancer survivors know…everything is or could be cancer until the doc says not. This time I’ll get a flu shot for good measure and that will be that. Afterward…after creative revisitation…on my way to reclamation, perhaps there will be a rainbow and a pot of gold! At least I will have a cup of coffee and a sweet treat on my journey back to home.

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3 Responses to “journeying through”


  1. 1 Anne
    September 28, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    Beautiful photos but, more than that, very poignant writing. After your coffee and sweet treat how about calling me to let me know how it went?

  2. 2 Meg
    September 29, 2010 at 1:15 am

    Godspeed, Sissie. You will be with me and I with you tomorrow. I shall remember our time together today as I go my way and you go yours. May you have peace in your heart and an old time gospel hymn on your lips. “All the way my Savior leads me. What have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who through life has been my Guide? Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, Here by faith in Him to dwell! For I know, what e’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well.” That’s one of my favorites. Fanny Crosby wrote some beautiful hymns. She was a remarkable woman. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Crosby
    “Bah-cheegs”

  3. 3 Marcia
    October 3, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Thinking of you, luv, and the grace that you are. Breathing … while journeying through. Breathing is life. Hugs…


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