Archive for October 20th, 2009

20
Oct
09

on being alive v.2

2000 years ago: Sell all you have and give to the poor. Then come and follow me.  (Matthew 19: 16, 21, 22)

2007/2008: Come follow Jesus with us. (Local church banner.)

Last year we answered that call by putting our house on the market, having an estate sale, giving away whatever usable thing was left, and giving many pieces of art to family, friends and acquaintances. As it turned out, the church didn’t mean us, but we didn’t know that until after we’d gone and done all of this. So here we are following not a church, but the man from Galilee…leaving behind a lovely house with a For Sale sign out front and no buyers. All in good time I suppose.

I experience time differently than most, because I am a cancer survivor and (like Adopted Daughter) live my life in a now-is-now fashion. I give what I have and I give what I don’t yet have because I can. In other words, I jump in and say yes to things that feel so do-able in the moment, but after a while my anxiety wings can start to flap. My plate is full…too full, but there is nothing on it that I regret putting there, so it’s a faith walk many times, this giving what I don’t yet have. Walking out to the edge of what I know how to do and taking another step. Keeps me in touch with the All in All, and that’s a good thing. I think walking along the road with Jesus, the man, may have felt this way at times. One of these days, I’ll either get a lot more trusting or too old to harbor anxiety…or both.

And speaking of getting old: The other day I realized that I am 6 months younger than I’d thought. I am not going to turn 72…I am going to turn 71 and that means I’m still 70 with 6 more precious months of time to give and take than I’d thought. That also means that Big Dawg and I celebrated 32 years together last month, not 33. Chemobrain strikes again!




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