whew!

I have been asked to present my work at the Mennonite Arts Weekend in Cincinnati Ohio next February 5-7, 2010. Most sane people will say I have loads of time to prepare and so would I if I were sane. But sanity illudes me much of the time. I am what kind people call, a highly strung individual. Hmm, how high is highly, I wonder? Isn’t there a song about how low can you go? Maybe there’s one about how high can you fly. Me? I fly high…up above the sky, as often as I can (which isn’t all that often, but I can dream). Lately…for the past many, many dreary months I have been tethered to some unfortunate hooha at the church I was attending that filled my heart with angst and debilitating sorrow. I could do no personal work at all and each month that past, I worried that I would have nothing meaningful to say to the MAW attendees grew larger and larger. Yes, that is performance anxiety.

Right now I am flying because today, I managed to plow through the tangles and write a draft of 2/3 of the presentation. Hooray! I feel great about that. I have prevailed. Now I can start selecting the art I want to present and coast for a while. I can even engage in other projects I am asked to do…or that I want to do just for me, without having this performance thing lingering in the back of my mind like a bad conscience.

And what is the topic of my presentation? Well, you are getting to know me a bit by now…it’s Suffering! Okay, not suffering for it’s own sake. Suffering as common ground and sacred space. Something I know a bit about, especially lately. But that’s another story.